Saturday, February 23, 2008

Welcome...

Welcome...

Herland Book-Café was opened on May 22, 1993, with Sun, Moon, and Mercury conjunct in Gemini on the Midheaven. Communication, networking, and being a Babe was in the stars.

The following recipes were developed over a six year period, in a tiny kitchen, using really basic equipment: blender, Cuisinart, crock pot, Kitchen Aide, toaster oven, and a microwave. They are fast, easy, and totally delicious. Our goal was to provide nourishing food in a fun, friendly atmosphere while radical activists, feminists, queers and all their cronies discussed revolution.

We had to close the café doors, but knew the quest for good salsa was as imperative as smashing imperialism: the recipe zine was born. Go forth, create your own revolution, be a Babe, nourish yourself, feast your spirit, feed your friends, and of course, feed yer mom!

No Regrets Vinaigrette

No Regrets Vinaigrette

3/4 Cup of Balsamic Vinegar
1 1/4 Cups of Canola Oil
1 T. Nayonaise
1/2 T. Garlic
3 leaves of Basil
1/2 t. Pepper
1/2 T. Maple Syrup

Throw everything into the Gender Blender and go out to town.

Tofu Poppyseed Dressing

Tofu Poppyseed Dressing

2 Cups Nayonaise
1 Cup Canola Oil
1/2 Cup Water
2 T Maple Syrup
1/3 Cup Lemon Juice
2 T. Tamari
1/3 Cup Cider Vinegar
2 T. Garlic
4 T. Poppy Seeds
2 T. Hot Water


Throw everything into the Gender Blender. Bust out that lipstick with your combat boots. Go on, you can do it, you know you want to...

How to relax about money


How to relax about money: relax. Your money is not your life! it just seems that way sometimes. True wealth is inside of you. You are safe. Make friends with money. Money is like love - the more you give away, the more comes back. When money flows in for you, it is time to help others. Help them now. Money was invented to be shared. Start a revolution: refuse to believe in recessions. We need to rewrite recession to read: money recess. Remember recess? You got to go outside, kick a ball, and feel free from school. We all need to feel free from money! Take a deep breath. What you are worth is not about money. Relax. You are safe. - Sark, Inspiration Sandwich: Stories to Inspire Our Creative Freedom.

Green Goddess Caught Cross-Dressing

Green Goddess Caught Cross-Dressing

1 Cup Nayonaise
1/2 Cup Canola Oil
1/3 Cup Water
1/4 Cup Lemon Juice
1 T. Tamari
1 t. Garlic
2 Green Onions
1 bunch of Basil
1/2 Cup of Cilantro
1/2 Cup of Parsley


Throw everything into the gender Blender. Dressings make about 2 quarts of umm, umm good!

Hummm...us

Hummm...us

2 t. Salt
1 T. Garlic
1/4 Cup of Parsley
1/4 Cup Tahini
1/4 Cup Shredded Carrots
The Juice of 1/2 Lemon

Mix all ingredients in the Cuisinart, add 2 Cups or one 15 oz. can of well-drained Garbanzoes.

Babes Spill The Beans...Kayla

Babes Spill The Beans...Kayla

Dear Mom,

A very hot Thursday, my eyeballs feel sweaty. One of the things that I love best about my job is that I get to come to work in my underwear. Well, a camisol and boxer shorts, anyway. It’s been a hectic week: I chipped my front tooth, my fridge died completely, & I just found out a friend of mine is hiv+. AIDS is a trippy thing, because after all, anyone could die in a car accident at any given moment, but to move from the expectancy of living 50-70 years (i.e forever if you’re young) to ten or fifteen, is heart wrenching. Now, I love my friend and want to continue to foster our friendship, but in full knowledge that I will watch this person get sick & die. I’m trying to learn to not fear death, endings, changes…I try to enjoy life and embrace the moment, and allow myself to care. It’s a lesson I’ve learned from the cats, who also have a shorter life span than I, and whom I will nurse in old age and into death.

Speaking of change, Sue is in transition to becoming Stu. S/he is transgendered, which means that while he has a female body, he expresses/sees himself as male. He’s taking steps to be transexual, to change sex both physically and legally. This includes taking testosterone, which will deepen his voice, add muscle bulk, change his hairline & general hair growth i.e moustache, beard, chest hair, etc. In the long run he’ll have chest surgery, which costs about $7,000. Stu is just coming out to his parents and friends, and its a big process for many people.

Including me. It’s strange to be intimate with someone who is disconnected/discontent with their body. It’s great to be with someone searching to be their authenic self. It’s scary to keep an open heart when I know everything is going to be different. It’s wonderful to be with someone who is intelligent, handsome, playful, and adores me (and is monogamous). It’s amazing to feel love & being in love again. It’s hard to trust that feeling sometimes.

It’s difficult to let go of my identity as a lesbian. My new word for myself is a tranny-lesbian, a Tresbian. Get it? Trés Bien, Tresbian, ha, ha. There is division in the queer community on whether trannies belong or are “taking the easy way” and are now straight .Whatever. Certainly my views on friends, family, community and who are my allies has changed the last few years, and my world keeps expanding while getting smaller all the time. I guess its called being a grown up.

Anyway, all this was on my mind when I called yesterday, but somehow didn’t come out my mouth, so here it is on paper. I look forward to your visit and hope all is spicy good in the meantime.
All my love,
Kayla.

Vegan Lemon Poppy Batter

Vegan Lemon Poppy Batter

Cream on high: 2 Sticks-o-Marge
2 Cups Turbinado Sugar
1 t. Vanilla
make sure batter is very smooth, with no chunks

Cream in: 1 box Silken Tofu

Mix in real slow for a short amount of time:
juice of 1 Lemon
1/2 Cup Soy Milk
1/2 Cup Poppy Seeds

Then slowly mix: 4 1/2 Cups Flour
1 T. Sifted Baking Soda
2 T. Sifted Baking Powder

Finish blending with spatula. Be sure to get all the gooey stuff from the bottom of the bowl. Mix it well.



Bake at the Universal Temperature of 350° for about 15 minutes.

Vegan Bran Muff-ins

Vegan Bran Muff-ins

Cream: 2 Sticks Soy Marge
2 Cups Turbinado Sugar
3 t. Vanilla

Add, but leave kinda batter kinda chunky:
1 box Silken Tofu
2 T. Crushed Pineapple

Mix well on low speed with:
1 Cup Raisins
1/2 Cup Walnuts (break into small pieces)
3 Cups Flour
1 Cup Bran
1 T. Sifted Baking Soda
2 T. Sifted Baking Powder

If needed, you can add about 1/2 Cup of soy milk to smooth out the texture.

Bake at the Universal Temperature of 350° for about 15 minutes.

Milk Shakes (fun!fun!fun!)

Milk Shakes (fun!fun!fun!)

It’s so cheap & easy. Get your favorite ice cream, chocolate or vanilla, add your liquids and power it up. Blend in blender. Put in 4 oz. of liquid, and enough ice cream to aim for 16 oz. Don’t stick spoon in blender while it is running! Think thick and use the Force! For vegan milkshakes substitute rice dream for ice cream and rice dream for milk and puh-leez hold the whip cream. Our favorites:

Vanilla- splash o’ milk (4 oz) + ice cream + whip cream

Chocolate- splash o’ milk (4 oz) + 2 scoops cocoa + ice cream + whip cream

Espresso Mocha- double shot espresso (but cold cofee works well too)+ 2 scoops cocoa + dash of espresso grounds + ice cream + whip cream

Chai- cold chai (4 oz) + ice cream + whip cream

Mocha Chai- cold chai (4 oz) + 2 scoops cocoa + ice cream + whip cream

Babes Spill The Beans...Rina Bee


Babes Spill The Beans...Rina Bee

Most of what I remember of Herland are the times we were naughty ...three-way massages in the interims of book café emptiness, sexy couple gossip in the early mornings, tantalizing flirtations with the customers and delivery folks... I think I’ll save those memories for myself. What I do want to share is my appreciation for being able to completely be myself in a place of business and ocCupation. I think most of you know what I mean. Herland has been one of the most nurturing sources of support in my life for the one year that I have worked here. There is nothing I could wear, say, or do that would be considered crossing some boundary of right and wrong. My spirit has flourished from working in this environment. I thank my stars that my karma brought me in unification with Herland! Viva la Babe-a-liciousness!

*Saya Cinta Kamu*

Vegan Carrot Walnut Muff-ins

Vegan Carrot Walnut Muff-ins

Mix: 2 Sticks Soy Marge
1 1/2 Cup Brown Sugar
1 t. Vanilla

Blend with: 1 box Silky Tofu
1/2 Cup Pineapple
3/4 Cup Soy Milk
2 Cup Grated Carrots
1/2 Cup Walnuts

Then add: 1 T. Sifted Baking Soda
1 t. Vanilla
a wee pinch of Cinnamon and Nutmeg
4 Cup flour

Bake at the Universal Temperature of 350° for about 15 minutes.

Devour!

Miso Soup

Miso Soup

1/2 Crock pot Water
1 Package of Cubed Tofu
2-3 Green Onions
1 T. Garlic
Miso to taste

Begin by smoothing out the Miso with hot water in a separate bowl and add to the crock, tasting as you add

Vegan Chocolate Coconut-or-Espresso

Vegan Chocolate Coconut-or-Espresso

Cream on high: 2 Sticks-o-Marge
2 Cups Turbinado Sugar
1 t. Vanilla
2 Cups Chocolate Powder
1/2 Cup Soy Milk

Then cream: 1 box Silken Tofu
1/4 Cup Pineapple Juice

Mix in slowly: 2 T. Baking Powder
1 T. Baking Soda
let sit (watch it bubble!)

Mix in slowly for a short amount of time:
4 Cups Flour
1/2 Cup Espresso-Yerself Grounds, or 1 Cup Coconut
finish mixing with spatula (lemme see you sweat!)

Bake at the Universal Temperature of 350° for about 15 minutes.

Babes Spill The Beans...Jeanette (aka tommy)


Babes Spill The Beans...Jeanette (aka tommy)

My most memorable memories of Herland... Well, first of all, Herland has been the best job I've ever had - working with total fucking babes, always supportive, open, and there for each other. Herland was also the home of open mics renamed “Open Michelle”, where i was able to perform, do spoken word, and express myself about my identity as a mestiza Chicana dyke queer girl/tranny fag boy. I was exposed to many things at Herland, and, well, here’s a story about just that. . .
I had been recently hired, and was working with a hot young thing named “J5” in the café one day. We had been flirting all day, and when we finally closed, i said, “Hey, do you want to come check out the bathroom with me? I think the sink’s leaking...” (or some lie like that). She knew what was on my mind as she followed me into the employee bathroom. As soon as she closed the door I had her up against the wall... Hands were everywhere, under shirts, on belts, on backs... She took a seat on the toilet, and here i am on my knees in front of her, my fingers working their way inside her... next thing i know I'm fisting her, my hand deep inside of her dripping wet cunt. Now, I'd never fisted anyone before, in a bathroom no less, so you can see how this would be very - um, interesting. Anyway, she came and we had a good laugh over our little rendezvous in the bathroom of our workplace. “Don’t tell Kayla!!”, i said to J5. “She’ll probably be into it, don’t worry about it!” What can i say, i got the best boss in the world (besides yer mom, of course).

Babe


• babe: n. aware beautiful womyn who lives life vivaciously and does not take any fucking shit from anyone. As in, “You are a total babe!”

Rock-n-Rollin’ Guac-o-mole!

Rock-n-Rollin’ Guac-o-mole!

1 T. Tabasco (Be careful not to overdo it.)
2 T. Lime Juice
2 Jalapeños
1 Red Onion
3 Green Onions
1 Bunch of Cilantro
1 t. Garlic
1 t. Salt

*Be sure to thoroughly scrape the blade and container, avo’s are expensive, and it’s fun to lick the bowl!

Yer Mom

The whole “yer mom” joke started with Laurel, in the classic “guess what-chicken butt” mentality of second grade. The point was to insert “yer mom” into any given pause, situation, or random moment as possible, giving the speaker “a point” in the big game of life. “Yer mom” also refers to the Great Goddess, and is the most humerous way I know to invoke Her, as well as my actual mom, myself being a mom, and to reclaim all the bad crap put on mom’s through the patriarchal ages. When in doubt, just say “yer mom”.

Yer Mom can Salsa!

Yer Mom can Salsa!

2 Jalapeños
1/2 Red Onion
1/2 Bunch of Cilantro (approx. 2 Cups)
1 1/2 T. Lime Juice
1 1/2 T. Tabasco
2 t. Salt
2 Green Onions
4- 6 oz. Cans of tomatoes

Mix all ingredients except tomatoes in the Cuisinart. Add the tomatoes slowly, never filling more than half way, otherwise juices start spillin’, but that might be yer style!

Gimme some funky R-N-B

Gimme some funky R-N-B
(Rice & Beans, Herland style!)

1 Cups Dry Beans
2 Cups Water
Pinch-o-Salt
Splash-o-Oil

Boil with lid on until water evaporates.
Add enough salsa to give it a kick!
Refrigerate!
Liberate!

Nachos

Start with bed of tortilla chips, lay on the rice and beans, followed by the cheese (be generous) then the guacamole, salsa, sour cream, olives and tomatoes. Nuke for 3 minutes or bake in oven at 350° for 15-20 minutes.

Burritos

Plop your basic goodness in the middle of your tortilla: beans & rice, salsa, tomatoes, red onions, guacamole, and grated cheese if your not Vegan. Heat in microwave (2.5 mins.), add dolop of sour cream on top w/ olives, and enjoy life.

Babes Spill The Beans...Kate


Babes Spill The Beans...Kate

My experiences at Herland have been broad: spiritual, awakening, stoney, raging, emotional, hilarious, and just plain odd! Here’s one that falls under the last two categories, I think.

It was a Saturday, and I was working in the bookstore as one of the weekend babes. I love Herland because while everything is sacred, nothing is taboo and when I run into other people who have no qualms about expressing who they are it makes my day! So, while I think there’s no need to be embarrassed about asking or saying anything, I must say, some people can still surprise even me, who works at Herland where everything is out of the closet and up for grabs!

So, I’m chillin (whatever you’re doing-- you’re always chillin’ when you’re at Herland.) Anyway, the telephone rings. Let me stop there for a second so that you know: when you pick up the telephone here or someone walks in the door, you never know what strange or obvious or non-café or bookstore-related thing someone is going to bring up. That’s why it’s always fun here, because nothing about us or our patrons is boring! We’re all about variety!

I answer the phone “Herland, this is Kate.” “Hi,” says a voice, later revealed to be Robin Lovedog (a tattoo babe). “Uh, yeh, I have an Annie Sprinkle movie here and I wanna know if you have the one where she SQUIRTS really big.

Kayla knows that’s the one that I like and she gave me the wrong one. I don’t know what it’s called but she’s getting fucked by like three people and she’s SQUIRTING all over the place! Do you know what I’m talking about?”

I have to say, I was pretty surprised/impressed with myself, because I knew exactly which one she was talking about. I had viewed Annie Sprinkle’s “Sluts and Goddesses” in a Performance Art History class a couple of years ago and loved it. So, I checked if we had it and put it aside. Robin sent one of the piercers from Lovedog’s down to pick it up. Apparently, she wanted him to see the scene she was such a fan of. Another day at Herland, and happy to help someone find what they needed!

*K8*

Vegan Tofu Ricotta

Vegan Tofu Ricotta

1/3 Cup of Tahini
1/4 Cup Brewer’s Yeast
1/4 Cup Lemon Juice
1/3 Cup Tamari
1/2 t. Garlic
1/2 Cup Chopped Basil
1 lb. (8 sliced blocks) Tofu

Mix all ingredients except tofu in a bowl with a fork or whisk. Crumble in the tofu last. Delicious on a bagel, toast, or as a filling for enchiladas, manicotti, lasagna, or quiche.

Vegan Apple Cinnamon Muff-ins

Vegan Apple Cinnamon Muff-ins

Blend: 2 Sticks Soy Marge
1 Cup Turbinado Sugar
1 Cup Brown Sugar

Then mix with: 1 pack Silky (like yer thighs) Tofu
2 T. Vanilla
3 T. Cinnamon
1/2 Cup Soy Milk

Blend well with: 2 T. Sifted Baking Powder
4 Cups-o-Flour

Add 2 Apples chopped up into lil’ chunks of burnin’ love

Muffin Magic: All muffin recipes make around a dozen muffins. Use a Kitchen Aid or the like for mixing, or for great forearm workout, use a good old fashioned whisk and bowl Bake at the Universal Temperature of 350°. Check in 15 minutes by poking one with a toothpick or a knife; Bake until poker comes out clean and muffins have pulled away from the sides of the greased pan.

Boundaries


• Boundaries. They are good. Use them. Here’s what our Goddess Oracle has to say, “Durga (Hindu goddess of boundaries) is here to assist you in nurturing wholeness by creating and fixing the limits of your physical space. Establishing clear boundaries is an act of self-love. Having no boundaries gives others the message that you are limitless and want to be treated in a limitless way... Durga says that boundaries are vital because they let others now who you are and where you stand.”

Babes Spill The Beans...Lisa

Babes Spill The Beans...Lisa

My first mission to Herland was to buy text books for a class I was taking with Angela Davis @ UCSC. Walking across the threshold for the first time was like coming home. Everything was new and fantastic, yet entirely familiar. I remember peering inside the jewelry case and small fairy gasps escaped my mouth- oooh!
oooh! oooh! Shortly after I discovered the café, the killer vegetarian menu, the awesome staff, the goddess.
About three or four months later in December 1996 I noticed a sign taped to cooler of the café that said something like- “Affirmative Action is Alive and Well at Herland. Looking for woman of color for café position. No experience necessary.” Being mixed heritage (My mother is from the Philippines and my biological dad is white) combined with growing up in my queer, urban, multiculti, hometown safe haven of San Francisco created a strange state of race understanding. Until I moved to Santa Cruz, where I noticed people made my color a difference, where I took Angela Davis’s Culture and Ideology class and went onto have some painful and very revealing racist experiences with a new political awareness, race for me was an elusive and very abstract concept. It had been a recent personal revelation that I was a woman of color. So when I read that sign, immediately I believed “Oh, they must mean me!” then I had second thoughts, “Nah, I don’t need the job.” But I did, so I dropped off my resume. Then I had an interview and went through the training period and was hired a month later. Thank Goddess.

Vegan Coconut Muff-ins

Vegan Coconut Muff-ins

Cream together: 1 Cup (2 sticks) Soy Marge
2 Cups Turbinado Sugar

Then mix: 10 3/4 oz. (1 pack) Silken Tofu
1 T. Vanilla
1 Cup Coconut
1/2 Can Crushed Pineapple
3/4 Cup Soy Milk

Then blend with: 4 Cups Flour
1 T. Sifted Baking Soda

Bake at the Universal Temperature of 350° for about 15 minutes.

B.I.T.C.H

BITCH an anacronym for “Being In Total Control of Herself



• YOU BITCH anacronym for “You Bet I Take Charge Here!”

Hippie KooLady

Hippie KooLady
(Hibiscus Cooler)

1/4 lb. Hibi Flowers
3 Cinnamon Sticks
2 Cups White Sugar
1 Cup Lemon Juice

Put Hibi flowers and cinnamon sticks in 2 Cups of hot water and let soak overnight. Drain into a gallon jug. Dilute sugar in hot water, add lemon juice and shake it all up together. Fill with cold water to the top and Voila! Tu es finis! (makes about a gallon.)

Note: The reason we call this Hippie Koolade is because we found white sugar worked the best. Experiment yourself if honey or turbinado sugar is more to your lifestyle.

French Onion Soup

French Onion Soup

Sautee: 1 t. Grrlick
1 Lg. Onion, or 2 Small Onions
in 2 T. Olive Oil

Add: 2 t. Basil
2 Bay Leaves

When onions are soft, add to soup pot with:
2 T. Miso
8 Cups Hot (like yer momma) Water
1/4 Cup Bragg’s Liquid Amino Acids
1/4 Cup Tamari

Heat it all up you Hot Babe! Float a piece of your favorite bread on top of a bowl of soup, add grated cheese, and zap in the microwave for a melty cheesy yummy delight.

Lemon Tahini

Lemon Tahini

1 C. Tahini
3/4 C. Lemon Juice
1 t. Garlic
1 1/2 T. Ginger
1/8 Cup Cider Vinegar
1/4 Cup Tamari
1 1/2 T. Maple Syrup

Mix everything in a big metal bowl. Add enough hot water to make it creamy, you may need to add more hot water after it has chilled.

Good Goddess Sandwiches

Good Goddess Sandwiches

UKEMOCHI (u-kee-MOH-chee) Japanese goddess of food. Avocado, facon' bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickles, red onions, nayonaise and mustard on four seed sour dough.
CHANG-O (JANG-oh) Chinese moon goddess. Hummus, avocado, tomato, red onions, and sprouts on whole wheat.
DIANA (die-AN-ah) Roman goddess of hunting and the moon. Thin slices of cucumber layered between facon’ bacon and sprouts with nayonaise on whole wheat.
VENUS (VEE-nus) Roman goddess of love. Avocado, lettuce, sprouts, shredded carrots, red onion, tomato, pickles, nayonaise and mustard, on whole wheat.
GAIA (GUY-ya) Mother Earth. Peanut butter and jam on whole wheat.
YEMAYA (yeh-MY-yah) Cuban goddess of the ocean. Avocado, jack cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles, onions, nayonaise and mustard on four seed sourdough.
NANSHE (nan-SHEE) Babylonian goddess of dreams. Fakin' bacon, lettuces and tomatoes and nayonaise on toasted whole wheat.

Honey Must’ve Heard

Honey Must’ve Heard

1 Cup of Canola Oil
1/2 Cup Nayonaise
1/2 Cup Mustard
1/4 Cup ‘unny
1 t. Garlic
3 Leaves o’ Basil
2 T. Hot Water

Throw everything into Betty Butch Blender until you cream your jeans.

Babes Spill The Beans...Rae

Babes Spill The Beans...Rae

i was 18 when i moved to santa cruz. immediately i found myself intrigued by a women’s bookstore that my roommate talked about: Herland. she said you could rent dyke flicks there! since i, myself, was just a lil’ queerling, i didn’t know of any lesbian films except for Go Fish (i had read about it in a magazine that a lesbo friend of mine had in high school). so i took a deep breath one day and called Herland. in a nervous voice i asked how late they were open. “until 6 o’clock,” the womon replied. shit, it was quarter ‘til. “thanks,” click. soon after, i mosied my way down to Herland. when i stepped inside, i felt like i had walked into another world. i was surrounded by feminist books, women’s music, lesbian erotica (blush), and a babe at the counter. i think i managed to mutter a “hello” as she greeted me. i rented Go Fish and watched it with giddiness and wide open eyes (lesbian sex scenes!) shortly after i became a regular- renting films, buyin’ books, frequenting the café.
i basically became a groupie until i was hired. when i think about the amount of growth i experienced as an immediate result of the womon-positive, queer-safe space that is Herland, i thank Goddess that it exists and that i could somehow be a part of it.

Blessed Be.

Salsa and Guac Combo

Salsa and Guac Combo
(party size!)

Base:

3 Jalapeños
1 1/2 Red Onion
1/3 Cup Lime
2 T. Tabasco
2 T. Garlic
2 T. Salt
6 Green Onions
2 Bunches of Cilantro

Ideally, we have found the best way to mix up all these ingredients is in a Cuisinart. Otherwise, be prepared to chop everything well by hand.

*Use half for guac & half for salsa!

Add 6-8 ripe and yummy avocado to make guacamole and use 4- 6 oz. cans of organic red ripe tomatoes for the salsa.

Skin Like a Poppy Batter

Skin Like a Poppy Batter

Cream: 2 Sticks Butter (chop into small pieces or melt first)
2 Cups Sugar
1 t. Vanilla

add 4 Eggs and mix well

Next add on slow speed:
3/4 Cup Lemon Juice
3/4 Cup 1/2 &1/2
4 T. Poppy Seeds
1 t. Lemon Zest
4 T. Poppy Seeds

Scrape and Mix on Low:
1 T. Sifted Baking Soda
2 T. Sifted Baking Powder
4 1/2 Cups Flour

Bake at the Universal Temperature of 350° for about 15 minutes.

YER A BABE!

Babes Spill The Beans...Dolores

Babes Spill The Beans...Dolores

Herland was celebrating Her Grand Opening when I saw Her for the first time. I was driving by and stopped to snap pictures of the festive purple balloons. I was collecting photos for a tiny book I was assembling, Purple Things in Santa Cruz. Said book remains a work in progress.

That Spring I was enrolled, along with twelve others, in a most enlightening class called, “The Religion of the Goddess”. Each meeting we brought some revered small amulet for our altar. One of our members was a young man and he brought something new and different every time. When asked where he had found his treasure, he either responded with, “Herland”, or “Everything’s a Dollar”. So my first trip into Herland Book café was to see the Goddess jewelry. What I always purchased when I visited the shop were buttons and bumper stickers. I bought lots of “ Commit Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Acts of Beauty” stickers, a red and white “Blessed Be” bumper sticker for my white Valiant with red interior, and for very ill friends and their loved ones, “Magic Happens” buttons. I always find something .

My work at Herland began in the café. It was not the first time in my career that I made my living cooking and serving food. I love tips. We food service workers depend on them. Someone once told me about the Great Tip Jar of Life. If you don’t put something into it, you can’t get anything out. What doesn’t go around isn’t going to come around.

It was in the Herland café that the notion occurred to me that the patrons who didn’t tip us, ever, no matter how extensive the service had been, were doomed. These folks will, in the next life, find themselves in The Cosmic Lifeboat along with others who should have tipped the Herland Babes, but did not. These souls’ rescue would begin only when they could identify what it was that each had in common: not tipping at the now legendary Herland Café.

The next vision was, of course, of The Cosmic Ocean Liner with our lovely and generous customers aboard, relaxing and enjoying themselves, just basically having the time of their next-lives. And, no, I have not seen that third and most recent Titanic film. I knew how it was going to end. The nautical reference floated up by itself.

I would like to thank each of our fine customers by name, but fear that I’d omit a valuable one. Thank you again and again for all your business and best wishes to each of you. Blesséd Be!

Herland Crone Babe
Dolores

Thank You


Thank You

To the Staff Babes of Herland over the years: Jennifer Lynn, Sue “Stu” Doogan, Tess Hemingway, Cameron Rabe, Shannon Stavinoha,
Marcy Coburn, Laurel Elizabeth, Drama Rose,
Cris Beam, “Grandma” Barb Rawlings,
Heather Lee, “Norma” Jean McKinney, Alisa Peck, Vnes “V-Dog” Dowling, Kerry Parker,
Disa Lindquist, Lisa Aquafairy, Kate “K8” Maxey,
Rina Bliss, Jeanette “Snatch” Aguilar, Rae Lynn, Dolores “Stregga” Rapattoni, Jenean “G9” Gilmer, Karoline “yer mom” Hatch, Julie Spear, and honorary staff Babe: Jen “Our Idol” Jacobs, and to everyone who volunteered, donated, or just plain bought something from us: yer a BABE!


Dedicated to the love of my life
Amber


Thank you to my parents,
for lending me the original money to start Herland, and for continuously supporting my vision and my (ad)ventures.



Good night, sweetie.