What Kayla Rose loves most about her body is how soft, strong, sensuous and responsive it is - and what an amazing container her body is for her heart, mind and spirit.
A defining moment in Kayla's body love was when she realized that she is a lesbian - and that her love of women is a reflection of her own power, beauty, pride, self love and self respect.
Kayla's current role model is her daughter, who at the tender age of 8 is the embodiment of confidence and of being comfortable in one's own skin.
The Vagina Ramble
or A Typical Day at Herland
Hello Santa Cruz! Welcome to the First Annual Love Your Body Day! I just want to start by saying... I LOVE MY BODY! I love being a woman, and I love my woman’s body. I love my face, I love my breasts, I love my belly, I love my hips, I love my tattoos, but do you know what I love most of all? I LOVE MY VAGINA! And the reason I opened Herland, the women’s
bookstore, is because I love women and want to celebrate women in every way, every single day. So tonight I am going to read to you a little piece I wrote called The Vagina Ramble, or a typical day at the Herland Bookstore:
Ring Ring Hello? Herland... Yes we have tickets for the Vagina Monologues. Thank you.
Ring Ring, Hello? Herland... yes we have Vagina tickets,
Ring Ring, Hello? Herland... yes we have Vaginas.
Ring Ring, Hello Vagina land...
Ring Ring Hello, Vagina... Vagina... Vagina…
My day is spent saying that word, and trying to get other people to say it too. Some customers say, “Hi, do you have tickets for...that thing on Friday, the play, um, v-day?” And I say, “Do you mean The VAGINA Monologues?”
There is a hope for the future though - When my friend Julie told her favorite four year old that she was going to the Vagina Monologues, Sadie goes, “Oh. What’s a monologue?”
I love that word, Vagina. Vagina Cunt Yoni Pussy Vulva. Vagina. I love that Eve Ensler has brought so much attention to it. Recently, in an interview in Velvet Park Magazine she was talking about hearing that someone is a cunt. She’s like, alright, I want to get to know her - give her my phone number.
Not that vagina is your average American household term yet, but at least you go by the Rio and see Vagina on the marquee, and I get to put posters with the word Vagina in the door.. And now do I put our yoni sculptures in the front window display? I mean just once, I want to hear someone sing, “How much is that vagina in the window...
When I place my book order, I have to order by the isbn number, and the
operator is supposed to confirm the title. Operators won’t say the word lesbian, and conveniently mispronounce Herland as Harlan, and instead of Amulets of the Goddess, one said
Omelettes of the Goddess. They certainly won’t say the word Vagina. One guy actually said, “the Virginia monologues”...
Ring Ring Hello, will you sell my ceramic vaginas? Ceramic Vaginas! You know, Lea DeLaria hacks on women’s bookstores for carrying purple yoni candles, but I love having my vagina display, complete with glazed, embellished, or natural, for that paint your own vagina experience, you know little flames, maybe pastoral, or your astrological chart...
Somebody asked, well, what are ceramic vaginas they for? Are you stupid? They’re ART! What is art for? And they’re vaginas - they’re for people celebrating their sexuality, or trying to get pregnant, or recovering from a traumatic experience, or for transgender folks who are transitioning, or your favorite midwife… Or obviously the perfect gift for mothers day... Everyone needs a spare vagina!
Now of course, I have to have the pc police come in and say, “They're not vaginas, they’re vulvas” . Vagina comes from the Latin word meaning “sheath”. The dictionary definition is it is the passage between the uterus and the vulva in certain female mammals. Vulva is defined as the external genitalia, with the adjectives vulviform, vulval, vulvar, and my new personal favorite, vulvate. Now there’s an adjective I want to work into everyday conversation as much as possible. How very vulvate of you...
Which reminds me, when I went to the Michigan Women's Music Festival with my very straight mom quite a few years back, this woman comes up to us in the parking lot and says to my mom, “I really like your VOLVO”.
In my household, we generally say yoni - the Sanscrit word for vulva. We like to call Herland either temple of yoni, yoni central, yoni-a-rama or sometimes just yonis ‘r ‘ us. My eight year old daughter says, “Mom, why did you pierce your yoni if nobody can see it?”. Well, sweetie, because I can see it and Mom thinks her yoni is pretty and needs jewelry, and when I wear my little bells you always know where I am in the house. (tinkle tinkle).
Herland moved five years ago to be closer to Pacific Ave, to be more visible and more in the mainstream. We have these big glass windows, and often I feel really exposed - you know, life in the fishbowl… Or actually, more like life in the zoo, “Why, look honey, there’s a
lesbian in her natural habitat!”
Little kids see the rocking Harley motorcycle and run in, but once their parents see the words “feminist nonfiction”, they’ll shoo their offspring out. Fear of cooties. I deal with homophobia every day. People come by and say the most hateful comments right outside the door, oblivious to the fact that I can hear every word said. They just see the words “Lesbian Mysteries & SciFi” and laugh. Well, actually, I do too...
This one person actually called his wife out of the store when her window shopping turned to browsing. He said, “You’re gonna spend your money in that LESBIAN store?” The good part is, she said yeah, so what? And she bought a couple of hundred dollars worth of goodies. On his credit card.
Another customer came in, glanced around, and said, “this store discriminates!”I said, why, what are you looking for? And he said something for men. I said, how about Loren Camerons Alchemy, Portraits of Female to Male Transsexuals? Or some homoerotic poetry by John Gill? Or This book - Men and Intimacy - is that what you had in mind? Or how about one of these lovely ceramic vaginas? They don’t discriminate...
One guy actually said, wow, I usually have to pay a hundred dollars to see that! And what day would be complete without the inevitable question: Are men allowed in here? Are women allowed inside the men’s warehouse? And hello, let’s talk gender here, what do you mean by men? At least half of our customers are male identified and many of the straight bio boys have clued in that they get major points shopping for their sweetie at Herland. It’s like having your babe go to Victorias Secret, you know, major points.
Now, our lesbian customers...they come in for one thing… To make out. Somehow, Herland is the safe space to make out when downtown. They never actually but anything, they just make out. There’s something sexy at Herland, cuz all these dykes come on and instantly start pawing at each other… And usually they have their mom with them...Must be all the vagina energy everywhere.
Personally, I don’t care if you have a vagina, or a penis, or anything in between. Here’s a true story: This really cute guy comes in the store, so sexy. I think to myself, “yeah, bend over, boyfriend.” He looks around the store for a minute, then comes up and asks if we rent videos. I point out the section and he asks if we have erotic videos. I point out the erotic video binder, and he asks, “Do you have Bend Over Boyfriend?” (I kid you not!) I say “No, but it’s been highly recommended”. And I swear I’m not making this up, he says, “Oh. Because I’m in it”. Oh my Goddess... my vagina has made me psychic!
The point is, you don’t have to have a vagina, you just need to be vagina friendly. Just Celebrate your body, celebrate your sexuality. We celebrate it all at Herland. What I’m really interested in - is a vagina dialog. Recently I went to a lesbian tantra workshop. We om-ed and flexed our keogle muscles to build up energy, because you know..,a strong vagina means strong orgasms which means...happy women. Everyone, lets have a little moment right now to contract those vaginal muscles. Don’t you feel better? I know all the men do...
The facilitator, who is a sex therapist and spends her day assisting women to get in touch with their vaginas - literally - said that for her personal practice she was “in and out of her yoni 4 or 5 times a day” (!) Now, not only did she recommend that if you take up the discipline of tantra that you do the same, but that you use a lot of lube...and that you keep your lube warm. She keeps her in a baby bottle warmer...Which goes to prove, the vagina really is the mother of invention.
I had one friend who called her vagina her hoo-hoo. I don’t know about you, but I wish she had a website so instead of “do you yahoo” we could have bumper stickers made that say, “do you hoo-hoo”?
You know, Herland opened almost twelve years ago as a feminist lesbian bookstore. Twelve years ago you couldn’t find queer books in the chains...Now, they recognize the market potential. But I am a success as a feminist because there IS a girl’s section, a queer section in big box bookstores. Just as Herland has become more visible and mainstream, so have enlightened ideas of tolerance, diversity, and acceptance become mainstream.
We started by focusing and celebrating women, but feminism has changed, concepts of gender have changed and indeed now my challenge is, when a customer came in and asked, “Do you have an altar piece that is non gender specific? Well, how about one of these non gender specific vaginas?
On a final note, At a feminist bookstores conference I went to in Wisconsin, we were all brainstorming on marketing ideas.I said, let's put our logos on dental dams...and then we can say, “Put your money where your mouth is!” Thank you for supporting vaginas, whoever you are. Goodnight, and keep on loving your body!
Notes:
The muscular tube leading from the external genitals to the cervix of the uterus in women and most female mammals.
synonyms: vulva, front bottom, lady parts, cunt, pussy, twat, snatch, honeypot, punani, muff, tail, fanny, quim, minge, clunge, box, beaver, jelly roll, cooze, pum-pum
